Our first question comes from Megan :
Is it the law that any noms that fall on the floor belong to she who gets to it first?
This is a very good question Megan, not least because humans adopt an utterly bonkers a wide and varied attitude towards floor noms and this causes no end of confusion.
Who amongst us has not experienced the baffling five-second rule ? Does anyfur actually know what happens to the said noms at six seconds ?
Then there is the very tricky question of ‘whose noms’ when you have pesky gorgeous [edited by Mabel] siblings to contend with.
And that is before you get to the added complexities that outdoor floor noms brings, when otherwise seemingly normal humans transform into this Hyde-ish character bellowing LLLEEEAAAAVVVEEEEIIIITTTT at the top of their voices and in a manner calculated to cause as much embarrassment as possible, but we shall leave the thorny issue of outdoor noms to a future post.
For the answer to Megan’s question, we turn to Part 3 of the Dogs (General Rights) Act 1972 [as amended]
Part 3: Food
4. Indoor Food
(a) Dogs may at their absolute discretion sit or lay or stand:
(i) beneath the countertops during food preparation time; and
(ii) beneath the table during dining hours
for the purposes of escaped nom disposal and no liability shall accrue in respect of any tripping hazard howsoever caused and which may from time to time arise as a consequence of the exercise of these rights
(b) Where there is more than one dog in the household then each and every dog shall have the rights referred to in sub-section (a) above and such rightsmay be exercised by any one such dog on the basis of getting to the escaped noms first
(c) The rights referred to in sub-section (a) shall apply regardless of where such food preparation or dining shall take place within the confines of all that land and buildings known colloquially as the house but as is more particularly defined by reference to such deeds and title documents as the humans may from time to time possess
5. Interpretation
In section 4, the words ‘escaped nom disposal’ means the disposal by a dog by whatever method of all and any noms that may land upon the floor for whatever reason and for whatever duration SAVE THAT humans may be permitted to recover, within a period of 2 seconds commencing with the time that the said noms land upon the said floor, any foodstuffs that may, from time to time, be designated as unsafe for canine consumption by a veterinhairyman PROVIDED THAT such foodstuffs are listed on t’interweb and have been confirmed as unsafe by an appropriately qualified canine resource.
So there we have it … as clear as the windows of the car before nose art. First come, first noms.
Daisy and Mabel 